i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police
So fucking powerful.
people only ever seem to notice the negative.
i think it’s so neat that everyone develops their own unique handwriting even though we’re all taught to write our letters the same way really it’s so cool
TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE
“HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT”
“YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS IS NOT MY FIRST DAY AS A TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATOR”
I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, and my fingers…because I can always count on them.
this will be my speech when i win an oscar
Don’t forget the hips, for not lying.
I hope you hang yourself with your h&m scarf while jacking off listening to Mozart
threw a boomerang like 6 years ago and it never came back so now I live in constant fear